New hobbies

Are you in the market for a new hobby?

Here's a suggestion -- stalking markdowns/resales on uberly expensive cashmere/silk/blend scarves!

I saw this great Echo scarf on someone's Etsy resale shop which made me question the origin and quality of Echo scarves. This led me to the Nordstrom website, which sells Echo for the relatively low price of $38. This, I quickly learned, is the extreme low end of scarves at Nordstroms. The ones above range from roughly 200-600 bucks. INSANITY.

So, new hobby... stalk awesome scarves for sale on the internet. Scarves are always needed, are they not?

( I predict my lack of scarf-stalking time in the future will assure me that they are not.)

Adventures in advertising

I subscribe to Elle Decor and House Beautiful for daydreaming fodder. And because they are cheap as dirt. And because getting non-junk mail in my mailbox makes me happy.

Over the last year I've noticed a trend (which is conceivably not a trend but a constant in home decor advertising... I know not).

See if you can spot the similarity:

DOGS!!! Oh boy I love dogs, which make me think of dirt. Considering the money these companies want me to spend on home furnishings, the last thing I would add to that image is dirt/dog.

Ever notice that exotic cats are used to sell jewelry? Domestic cats are used to sell arthritis medicine (I just made that up).

I can only imagine the inane conversations that advertising professionals must have on a regular basis. I would excel in advertising, or get fired for constantly shouting - but that's so trite!!!!

What, I sound full of myself? Well there's a very good reason for that.

I am a very special snowflake.

But what do I know, Part 2

Since I know you've all come to value my deeply derived opinions, and since I feel kinda bad about (constructively!) criticizing Mindy Kaling, I hereby offer positive reviews of my favorite TV shows.

The Wire 
First show that throws its fist into my chest and rips out my bleeding heart. I remember thinking I’d give up around episode 10, season 1, because the show hadn't quite gripped me yet. I persevered and never looked back.

Damages 
Daaaaaaaaaaamn these are some smart bitches. This show has great writing and strong female lead characters. This is drama.

The Mentalist 
My first fluffy, lighter drama. I began loving this one while coming down from some heavy hitting shows (see above, add Dexter, Big Love, etc...). I love Jane, armed with his three-piece-suits and unparalleled intuition. Unfortunately that Red John is one sick bastard.

Deadwood
By this time Netflix knows a little about me and suggests I’d enjoy the acclaimed Deadwood. And I did (although I'm happy there are only 3 seasons because I can't watch people live in filth forever and Timothy Olyphant's lack of hip motion really bugs me).

Game of Thrones 
Oh My Fucking God. Just.... oh my. This show can be soapy but I love it. Enjoyed best with whiskey.

The West Wing

Why can't decisions be made at my job like they are in the West Wing? Why can't everyone be competent, empowered, and trusted like they are in the West Wing? This may not be the show to watch if you're frustrated at work. 

Other:  SATC I've already explained. I loved Dexter until the Julia Stiles season. Big Love got too stressful. Mad Men, yes please. Had a love affair with Mad Men originally. The Hour is pretty good -- love the clothing and the history lessons. Downton Abbey I thought was good until I realized the eldest daughter has brown eyes when both of her parents have blue, and now I just don't care what the hell happens to any of them.

2015 Update: I now also love Veep and Broad City. Oh, and Orphan Black. And I certainly binge-watched Alice. Does that count?

Beyond simple desserty snack

This "recipe" is so beyond simple that it must be shared with everyone who has ever said, "I'm soooo busy." And who hasn't said that? And who doesn't love chocolate covered pretzels?

Snyder's Pretzel Snaps are the platform, chocolate of any kind is the glue, and your imagination is the limit for the toppings.

All you do is melt some chocolate in a double boiler or the microwave. Shoot me a comment or use the Google machine if you need clarification here. Use a Snap to scoop chocolate onto another Snap and lay that sucker down on a parchment lined baking sheet (or whatever... seriously, this is not a recipe to be micromanaged). Then top the chocolate if you choose with whatever your heart desires. I like raisins, dried cherries, peanuts, almonds, Peanut Panda Puffs, Cocoa Puffs, Grape Nuts, good flaky salt, WHATEVER.

Then chill in the fridge to harden all the ones that haven't been eaten yet. Then scoff at not having that stand mixer you still desire.

Want vs. Need

Sometimes I see something and my mind goes blank, save for the phrase 'hummina hummina hummina'. Deep in my gut I WANT. I covet.

But I don't need.

Case in point, these adorable little wine glasses.

Inspired drinking

Do I need wine glasses? No. I have perfectly good wine glasses. But do I prefer these stemless floral wine glasses to the ones I have? Oh yes indeedy. What's a person to do?

Starting now, as a general rule, I'd like to not spend money on things I don't need. If I see these at a charity shop for a dime I'll totally get them, but in general I'd like to see less boxes for me in my mailroom (except for care packages, naturally). There are more important things to save money for and spend money on, like a house or a vacation.

However if I carelessly break all of my wine glasses and therefore need some new ones (stems do make for perilous drinking), well that's a whole different story.

Lack of color

Is sometimes good. Behold my favorites from the 2013 Golden Globes -- compiled before any brainwashing from more qualified judges.

Weird polka dot dress included because, well duh, and because I like looking at Rachel Weisz

All images courtesy of the internet. Please don't sue me.

But what do I know

Dear Mindy Kaling,

I watch your show. I sometimes like your show. But I’m writing this letter to tell you that you can do better. Much, much better.

Allow me to elaborate.

It seems like the writers are playing cliché bingo. I think you could be much more original. Will the network not allow it?

In the petty category, it drives me crazy that you doctors have abundant free time. Even the Scrubs doctors worked harder. Can doctors really just cancel an afternoon of appointments like that?

I didn’t even know male doctors could outnumber female doctors 3:1 at an OB/GYN clinic of young doctors. Is that allowed? Congrats on that extra pop of reality. I’m sure there are also lots of male midwives.

All of this begs me to wonder – to which particular level of ridiculousness are you aiming? Are you set in la la land?

Sometimes I think you’re aiming to really go “out there” and I recommend you go out there. Go. Imagine 30 Rock and Seinfeld. They are out there but it’s okay… there’s an alternate reality out there. And it can work. Instead, your mixing of the ridiculous with the cliché is rant-inducing.

In all fairness and gratitude you do tend to have that one, funny, redeemable line. Or moment. Or whatever. Per episode. But unfortunately the hits aren't keeping up with the misses. Take Danny doctor having a one-on-one with the socially awkward receptionist to assure her she’s pretty? Are you kidding me?

I think you can do much, much better.

Sincerely,
Concerned fan

PS - Please don't tell me you know all this and don't care because CASH, yo!

More from MAM

The Milwaukee Art Museum was just about the perfect size for a 2 hour run through. I started up top with the Georgia O'Keeffe (WI native) and winded my way down and around to the exit, catching many cool sights along the way.

Have a look...

I'm a sucker for blues and greens. Here I'm in color combo heaven.

Want... to... pet... it..

Fitting for a state with many beer bottles

The paint was so thick

And of course, polka dots :)

2013 Reading List

Hello and Happy New Year!

I've never much cared for New Years as a holiday because it seems so arbitrary. I'm sure there's a perfectly boring and distorted reason as to why our calendars run out between December and January, but I'm not interested. We could celebrate any day as New Orbit day.... but instead we have a yearly December 31st / January 1st party time. Because that's how calendars are cut.

A yearly time to reflect, and for most that means alcohol. 

Fuck that shit. I'm no dummy. You can't trick me into having a good time. Years go by...

But hot damn, life ain't long. From now on count me in for socially scanctioned party times. You want me to celebrate by roasting turkey and baking gingerbread cookies and lighting off fireworks? Fine by me. Give me my day off.

What have I become?

To make the new year an official thing I present us a reading list for 2013. I've already read these books but I'm going to read them again. I may write about these on Dots from time to time. I truly think these books carry something essential for everyone's spiritual literacy. 

So next time you're at a used bookstore, physical or virtual, keep an eye peeled for these two books. Then read them in 2013. Simple as that.

And best yet, reading these can actually change your life. Yes, just like that new slim body or that commitment to date night, reading two little books can actually change your life.

2013 Reading List:

Tantra for the West

The Four Agreements