Talking to your depressed loved one

Copied and pasted from the brilliant Hyperbole and a Half

I've always believed that I'm wired to not experience clinical depression. I'm not sure why I feel this way. I'm related to certifiably crazy people. My career gives me nausea. I'm easily overwhelmed. I've nearly entirely forgotten how to focus. I procrastinate and hate myself for it. I'm afraid of who I am when drunk. Yet clinical depression - I'm gonna go out on a weak limb and say it's just not possible up in here. I know, I know, this sounds like a dumb ruse to pit mind over matter.

But if depression were to descend, this is what I hope I remember:

Hyperbole and Half, part 1

Hyperbole and Half, part 2

There is little as beautiful on the internet as those two posts. I was fan of Allie Brosh's writing, Paintbrush drawings, and humor for several years, and then she just stopped feeding me. Stopped feeding all of us. What happened? Depression, we would learn. How brave and honest she is about her illness and how fucking eye-opening it is to see it explained so well (her illustrations.. oh so perfect) make her the winner of the internet in my mind.

In all their brilliance, the biggest value in those posts for me is this:  You're maybe just looking for someone to say "sorry about how dead your fish are" or "wow, those are super dead. I still like you, though." I've always wanted this information.

I believe it's wildly important for all of us to not make assumptions about the people around us. I should never assume I can supply your medicine. And when someone is looking depressed, don't suggest yoga at sunrise. Don't suggest a new restaurant. Don't tell them what snapped you out of your last bout. Just be there, encourage them to seek professional help, and remember to say I still like you.

Do any readers have other advice on what to say?

Not so bad

A few weeks ago I was sent to Cleveland to learn some things for work. I wasn't exactly thrilled about going to Cleveland, home of living nightmares, but figured I'd be working so much I would barely notice where I was.

I was wrong.

First of all, Cleveland has the motherfucking Thinker!!!

After freaking out over this, I learned it's one of many casts and NOT the original.

This guy sits and thinks outside of the free Cleveland Museum of Art. I only had my cell phone with me when I stumbled here, so the pics are sub even my par, but a few may still be worth sharing. 

Observe...

ALL THE CABINETS should have handles like this.

Why don't I have a game table?

This is a sideways look at a large thin sheet of plastic, decoratively hand cut and reflecting some lovely light.

Mmmmmmmm.... lush, velvety, gorgeous textiles.

I'd totally be into this guy.

Haha. Found my kitchen art!

HEYYYY MACARENA!

So.. Cleveland. Not so bad!

The thing is...

No. That's not "the" thing. Perhaps you mean, "A thing is...". You have a thing? You propose a thing? You suggest a thing? Fine. We all have a thing to put out there. Tell me your thing.

But force me to hear "the" thing? No. Please don't. You're not the expert on all the possible things. If you have a good grasp of the English language - which I understand is a rare thing - you cannot assert the thing. Things are always multifaceted. The reason your team lost, the reason their relationship is on the rocks, the reason Casa Margarita is better than Burrito Land, the reason people text instead of call - there are many, many things.

And now, to use my second least favorite phrase in any language - "You should" refrain from asserting "the" thing among many.

Excuses excuses

There are two hobbies that I'm interested in, but have been shy to ignite. BUT NOTE - I have really, really good excuses for my avoidance.

Allow me to explain...

Photography takes a lot of money. There are all these filters, and lenses, and the act of annoying people by pausing to take pictures all the time. Film photography I could probably get into due to the chemistry involved, but who has the extra space for a dark room? Below is a picture from NASA of the Venus Transit last year. I can't compare, so why bother? The best I can do is know that natural light is better than artificial, or so I've been told.

Excuses excuses.

NASA, killing it. That tiny black thing is a planet. SOOO COOOL.

The other hobby is riding bikes. I was a bike-riding fiend when I was a kid, but back then I lived in an actual village. Roads would get so abandoned that you might actually use the high beams in your car! Lately bikes represent danger to me. Drivers are fucking texting on cell phones. But worst of all, I have no clue how to fix a bike malfunction! I know emergency bike maintenance is not rocket science, like taking that cool NASA picture up there, but something about it intimidates me. So why get a bike? I might get hurt and stranded.

Excuses excuses.

But you know what, fuck this noise. It's important to remember that we do other things. These excuses, these mechanisms to be hard on yourself for not being an endlessly energetic sponge of new ideas and activities, need to be squashed. There's a deeper reason for these excuses, and that reason can be summed up in one word - priorities. I prioritize going to farmer's markets and making peach jalepeno jelly. I prioritize binging on good TV shows through Netflix. I prioritize this blog. I prioritize other things, and these aforementioned excuses exist just to make me feel bad.

So let's rephrase.

I choose to not, presently, dive into photography or bike riding.

Done.