Tales from the crib

My copy of The Four Agreements is missing, and has been for over a year now. Rats! It contains a part that I have been wanting to reread regarding the "you" before "domestication". 

I think of this whenever blogging parents describe the notable behavior and characteristics of their children under four years of age. Skylar/Tate/Benny/Hank is more pensive/imaginative/quick to laugh/hard to soothe/curious/affectionate than his brother was at this age. Dexter/Penny/Ana/Louis has an extra fondness for animals/dirt/games/other people/music it seems.

I love these statements. Record these proclivities. Just write them down somewhere because you might forget.

Case in point. My mom had 4 kids in a short time. I was number 2. When I ask her what I was like between 0-4 years old, what really was unique to me, she can't remember. You were good. Pressing her further I learned that I would prefer to hold my pee than go pee.

I am naturally a rather lazy person - physically, not mentally. And oh isn't that a book in itself...

Early polka dot adopter

Reflecting on slightly older years of childhood, when domestication had surely already taken hold, I can come up with lots of adjectives that might describe young me. But that person was trying to fit into (and stand out of) highly formative situations. Who was it who truly didn't give a fuck?

So write that shit down, parents. Don't harp on what's written, just note it. 

Some day your rather analytical child may want to know.

Instafairyland

One thing I tried this year that I've surprisingly stuck to is Instagram. I love being inspired, daily, by the creative energy that is out there. I want to capture it, this visual, and feast on it.

To get the fleeting to linger I sometimes take screenshots of my Instagram feed. In my continued effort of blog scrapbooking, scrapblogging, here are some things I mustn't soon forget:

But is all this imagery a bit overwhelming to anyone else? It's constant candyland. It's fairyland.

Instafairyland. Good for daydreaming. Bad for living.

I'm pretty sure.

What I'm really gifting* this year

Sometimes bloggers put the most ridiculous things on their gift guides. Are they really buying that $40 hipster pint glass for anyone? Does anyone really deserve a $90 candle? Man, that high end bottle of bourbon sure is one fine fuckin host gift.

So let's put a blogger's gift guide up to the fire. I volunteer.

First, for your reference, my 2014 gift guide.

And now, what did I actually buy? Was that gift guide all talk?

Let's take a look...

(Mom, I don't think you read this, but if you do, stop now.)

create your own identity

As predicted in the gift guide, the kids are each getting a superhero mask custom-designed with their favorite colors. They've come in the mail and they look great. Score.

In another solid gift guide showing, for my dad, the double-punch gift of humor.

My mom and sister-in-law were last on my list. I wanted to work on a unified theme - a mixed bag of awesome small treats that both diverged and converged. I was inspired by the desire to qualify for a nail polish discount by buying a personal shade for each of my ladies. This was fun. Then I got them the same 'almost' lip color, which is purported to look great on everyone. I have it, and it is remarkable how light or dark you can make it, so I can see the versatility. (These are also very tempting.)

Would my mom or sister-in-law buy these things for themselves? No. Probably not.

Will they like them? Oh, I hope so. I hope so.

Tree tops!! (currently out of stock)

I also bought each of them a small winter decoration. It's a little wooden conifer tree painted in pretty shades of green, sitting in a log. And it's a top! You can spin it on either end! Fuck yes. I hope it will make a welcome addition to whatever scene they are rocking in their respective houses. 

Last in the grab bag was a treat for the palate - good beer for the sister-in-law, truffle salt for the mama.

<<hands smacking>>  Done.

...

But what is it I would like to gift* to myself, you ask?

Art print.

New necklace.

<<hands smacking>>  Done.


* Are we all okay with using "to gift" as a verb now?

Getting personal

Want to know something kinda personal?

This is my collection of Zoya nail polish:

I have a few more actually (glittery dark purple, light gray, Elsa-blue (seriously, when did I get that one and why?!), and a soft gold), but these are most my jam.

Madeline, Normani, Kelly, Caitlin, Heidi, Tamsen, Cola, and Emilia

I've collected Zoya for a few years now. I buy no other kind (except for a few regrettable purchases from Target clearance bins). They're a splurge, like a whole pint and a half of beer each, but it's a spurge I can justify.  

I'm favoring Madeline, Normani, and Cola lately. Despite wearing these on my fingernails, which do see the light of day, showing them together at once seems somehow very intimate to me. These are colors I'm happy to have curated for myself, with no one else in mind. I made each selection carefully, with deep, self-absorbed thought. 

What could be more telling?

To be avoided

Everyone and their mother loves Trader Joe's, so it may come as a surprise to learn that they sometimes sell bad food.

They do.

These are both bad:

These whole wheat bagels have a terrible texture. They are indeed crispy(er) on the outside with bready innards, but they are overall too chewy. Even after toasting you'll be reaching for a toothpick. The flavor is reminiscent of cardboard. No likey.

I try to stick with organic dairy, and I don't like "light" things, but this is the only organic cream cheese my TJ's sells. It has no flavor. It's like creamy white nothingness. Nada.

Do not buy these items and expect anyone to actually enjoy eating them.

This has been a public service announcement.

Speaking of amateur photography

"Antwerpen" This picture is so, so bad. I cut off the main point of this sculpture, which is some sick homicidal severed hand-in-hand thing up top. I kinda love this picture.

Two weeks ago I revealed that I went on a European vacation, from where my main souvenirs were pictures. Here are those bad pictures! I find them particularly wonderful.

We went from the US to Copenhagen to Amsterdam to 4 cities in Belgium then to London and back to Copenhagen then home. This post will focus on Belgium.

We entered Belgium by train from Amsterdam. The first stop was Antwerp, just a quick peep, and then we were onto Ghent. We spent two nights in Ghent, during which time there was a day trip to Bruges. After Ghent there was one night in Brussels, before the train to London. Pffhew!

First meal in Belgium was a sandwich that I knew had goat cheese and "thinly sliced beef". I took a gamble and won. It turned out to be this cured, aged, very lean cow flesh. Notice the awesome beer list and the ever-present ashtray. Lots of smokers in Europe in all age brackets. That sucks for you, Europe. Good thing you have amazing beer, food, outdoor cafe ambiance, and health care.

Looking down on Ghent from atop the Gravensteen castle. Fun fact - latrines from the middle ages still smell really bad! The castle is right up in the center of town, like the Edinburgh one. (Don't I sound like a world traveler by saying it like that? In fact, my only other time in Europe was a month in Scotland for work. In fall, just like this trip.) This one is a little dinky in comparison. Rick warned me.(Of course I mean Rick Steves. He went on our trip as well.)

And they know it! This motherfucking baby is giving everyone the finger outside the castle entry area. No explanation in English.

Like every place I went, a river runs through it. Man, there's a lot of brown in this picture.

Went to this hole in the wall gin joint and got pre-schooled in gin vs. jenever. This jenever above was the proprietor's favorite. My mouth, throat, and esophagus definitely saw the appeal. Schluuurrrpp. I only wish I got his smirky/smiley face in the photo. He was posing for it, but I worried it rude to capture his face when I only asked to take a pic of the label. If you ever see this label on a bottle for sale, buy me one! For my second jenever I asked for whatever might be smokey or wood-like, and was given this shot glass of amber comfort. If the place wasn't crammed with drunk college kids I would have asked for a pic of that bottle as well. 

Obligatory picture of weird American chip flavors when they sail overseas.

"Sauces" Gotta say, I dutifully ate pommes frites all over Belgium and none of them beat Hopleaf in Chicago. 

Lots of clothing stores for kids and lots of kid mannequins. It's like kids matter as much as adults here, even though they can't afford to shop without their parents. 

The Design Museum in Ghent was weird. It was like a hodgepodge of designy stuff. Luckily it was cheap to walk through and it satisfied my need to better understand the design of this region, which seems highly influential to the stylists and designers that I follow (i.e. like). Chevron floors anyone? We missed out on going to the better design museum in Copenhagen. Next time!

I love it when needs and artistry combine, like this fucking amazing fireplace and wall-to-wall shelving unit (which goes like 15 feet to the left and right from what you see here). Bulky and dark, yes, but that green surround? I mean, come on now.

The next time I'm in Belgium I'm going to buy A LOT more chocolate. I didn't think it'd blow me away like it did. The Belgian chocolate I've bought in the US is half as good and three times as expensive. If you buy a plane ticket to Belgium, don't leave without 50 bucks worth of Belgian chocolate, at least. Take it from me.

Lounging at the original Gruut brewery in Ghent. Gruut beers use all kinds of bittering agents in place of traditional hops (sometimes in addition to). They taste good for me. Fortifying. Like everywhere I drank, I could have stayed here a lot longer. Is this picture worth showing? No, it's junk. I just wanted to talk about the beer.

A shower to remember (in Brussels).

Here is one corner of the Grote Markt (Grand Place) in Brussels. On the walk to this square we passed a little open square and I remarked, "This is it?" No. No, Eve. A few blocks further THIS is it! It was absolutely breathtaking. When we got there (the first time) it was nighttime and a band was playing "Sultans of Swing". It brought a wide smile to my face to hear familiar English.

Gray and gold

I wanted mussels in Brussels (or anywhere in Belgium really, I just wanted a taste). Not knowing where they might knock our socks off, we went with a place Rick said would be good, affordable, and authentic. I did order the traditional style and liked them. The broth was like a celery-infused salt water. No white wine. No cream. Not too much garlic. It was simple. Quite good. And the fries with mayo? Yes please! Cross this experience off the list.

Beer! Beer was like, the point of the trip. Belgium, ahh Belgium. I like you. Since I've been back I've been stockpiling this beer that we had while in Brussels (from the brewery we toured in Bruges). 

So there you have it! Missing you already, Belgium. Missing you already.

My new winter hat

Someday... One day...

Hi, I'm perfection.

Or maybe...

Yeah, I've always been pretty amazing.

Or perhaps...

I love my fantastic life.

Who knows, really. I'd need to work out a budget before deciding to throw down on a hat of this prestige. But, AHHHHHGGLHHLLLLLHHLLL. Such beauty.

And you pick your color! Oh what an extremely important decision.

She also says:

Hear hear! I want a hat that helps top me off. The zig to my zag. The lickity in my split. My special enhancing element. 

This designer gets it. I bet she could look at me and say, this one here, babe, in this color, now let me measure your head. 

I propose a field trip to Edinburgh! Who's with me?!

Ladies to remember

The beauty of Red Butte, Salt Lake City

As we crank into November, it dawns on me that I did two major bucket-listy things this year. I drove cross-country (ok, just 50% of the way, but all new territory), and I went on a multi-city European vacation. Go me!

On travel I try not to pick up physical keepsakes. One or two small, beautiful/practical/unique things is understandable. But if I don't stumble on them naturally, or if I don't pull the trigger when in range, no biggie. I hardly kick myself for this minimalism very long.

What I know I'll always have are a few amateur pictures. Pictures that I'm so excited to capture, even though I know they have little chance of being framed. I'm really photographing a future memory jog. Oh yeah, I was there! That was beautiful!

This blog post will serve to jog a couple memories, but what about the rest?

Saying goodbye to Copenhagen

I believe the concept I'm grasping at is scrapbooking. Or scrapblogging rather.

I'm afraid the excuses I will use to not scrapbook will be plentiful.

Elixir of the gods

For my latest cookbook challenge I made apple cider vinegar. To do so, I simply bought apple cider from my farmer's market and sat some on a shelf in my dining room with cheesecloth on top. Then I waited. That's fucking it. Unfuckingbelievable.

Yet at the same time, so fucking believable. It's fermentation!

I started the fermentation at 10:30 am Saturday, September 20th. I bought the cider the Saturday before, but it took a week to procure and ready the cheesecloth. In the meantime I was lured to swig from the half gallon jug many times. I couldn't help myself from drinking something so tasty and there was the need to spread my germs (to be feasted on during fermentation). Excellent. Excellent.

Until this very day (nearly 6 weeks later), my fermenting apple cider looks like this right here:

top shelf of dining room (generous to call it that) bookshelf

And when revealed looks like this:

(left) apple cider vinegar in ceramic mug   (right) cheesecloth cover

This ceramic cup (above) was filled to that top ring with cider 6 weeks ago. As the sweet cider sat around it became hard cider, and as that sat around, it turned to vinegar. What's left, I kid you not, is apple cider vinegar! 

And it's pretty delicious. Light, bright, alive. I fucking love it. For purported health benefits, I'm drinking a couple teaspoons of my ACV with a pint of water in the morning. I look forward to this now. It's quite refreshing. Who knew?

The mother is also in there. Do you see that film on the left of the liquid, clinging to the cup? That is so gross and cool. IT'S ALIVE!!!!!! (Happy Halloween, by the way!) But what I find craziest are the brown spots on the inside of the cheesecloth. How did color get up there? How exactly did that pattern evolve? How interesting!

This recipe is from Wild Fermentation. Its author, Sandor Ellix Katz, I hereby give a Ph.D. in Fermentation. I bow to you, Dr. Katz. This scientific art form strikes me as unparalleled in its benefits. I want more.

To ferment as much as possible, I have to make it easy. I need a bunch of fermentation crocks. Such as:

"fermentation crock" on google images

Note to self - Attempt making fermentation pots in next ceramics class.

Happy 200 to me!

I was smiling at the thought of my byline the other day, rants I would share with friends over beer if they were near. I was wondering, did I stick to that? As of this, my 200th post, 10% (20 posts) have been labeled as rants. That labeling isn't too scientific, however. My first rant is really just a musing. Sometimes the rants are more like confessionals, or stories turned into an outburst. A couple of times though I've threatened, in jest of course, physical violence in my rants. Once a haunting. Ya know, normal friend chit chat stuff.

Thank you, readers, for being here! I'd love to hear from you.

And now, a vacation day :)

Holiday Gift Guide 2014 - Gifting reflections

Do you know what time it is? Right now, successful bloggers all over the world are working on their gift guides, cleverly tailoring them to showcase their styles and positon on the cutting edge. I am no exception, except for some because I'm done! You’re seeing it here first, folks. Sit back and enjoy the third edition of my holiday gift guide… or more accurately, my gifting philosophy. This year’s philosophy is one of reflection.

...

I flew home from the holiday break last year and couldn't get one thought out of my head – how do I have no good coffee or chocolate anywhere? I’m home alone for a few days. No work. Just a few Caturdays ahead. And no coffee or chocolate?

Don’t let this happen to your loved ones this year. Get them great chocolate, good coffee, and a few other staples that no post-holiday lounge time should be without. Such as:

Great. Gorgeous. Gift-worthy. Chocolate.

Delicious tea that seems extravagant but isn’t and will blow your bagged tea out of the water.

A few months ago I got to thinking about lingering pesticides and herbicides on tea leaves, the very leaves I steep for all their goodness, for example. So this got me looking for local, organic tea farms. Behold Light of Day Organics, which sounds like a cult, I know, but stay with me. I purchased a large tin of their Creamy Earl Gray and it’s phenomenal! Buy someone a large tin of one of their go-to’s (my next will be Genmaicha), and pair that with a really solid, efficient strainer. They make cute, novelty strainers out there, but I prefer the industrial stand-by.

VYA! Vya Extra Dry vermouth is the first alcohol I will buy by the case. A friend with posh cocktail sense turned me onto this vermouth and I thank him every few months. If “your friend” likes gin or after dinner aperitifs, buy this. If “your friend” enjoys some bourbon, buy the sweet variety. If “your friend” is a high class swinger, buy her all three of the half-bottles. You’re welcome.

Reward your bar cart.

.....

In the spirit of reflection, I went back and surveyed my first two gift philosophies. The advice there is just as good today, I think. The first one cracks me up where I tell you four gifting pitfalls. Upon reflection, I have one more to add, (#5) – Ask yourself if you’re buying this for you. Is it you who really wants those Cuppow mason jar lids, and is disguising them as a stocking stuffer for your roommate? Is it you who wants to have a silk kimono, but conveniently forgets that a large Japanese man in 1940 is much smaller than your boyfriend? Maybe reflect on this.

The first year I mentioned which items are really safe if you’re shopping for someone like me (a difficult assessment to make, I know). Things such as:

One way to simplify the search is use keywords of designer brands.

Vintage silk scarves. These things are everywhere on Etsy, and not for exorbitant prices. I prefer large silk squares. They have many uses. Two tips to make this gift as awesome as possible, (1) make sure the colors and patterns are pleasing to the recipient, not necessarily you, and (2) dry clean before gifting. If you really want to be cute, you could use this creatively wrap something smaller. Jewelry comes to mind.

Another thing I said in 2012 is that if you’re going to make a mistake, make it a small one, like earrings. This is still so true. Remember all those awesome vendors from craft fairs you’ve been stalking? Check out their online stores. Lately, jewelry-wise, I’m drawn to vintage pieces. Things with a quiet pop. Lightweight still – more costume than armor. But something unique. Something you won’t find at modern boutiques. Things you might find at the charity shop when your good karma is running high. Things that in the present tense seem one of a kind. Luckily there are curators of these goods on Etsy. Below are all items from one store, The Birdcage. That brooch! That necklace on the bottom left! They will not be available for long if I get my act together.

Just like with silk, do some gentle cleaning of the item before gifting. Some people get a little queasy at the thought of donning vintage, so the cleaner the better. 

The Birdcage Vintage. If you find more shops that curate the vintage with brilliance, please tell me in the comments!

.....

My philosophy last year was to relax and enjoy the holidays by adapting easy-to-apply gifting themes. This year I’d like to add one more theme.

Theme Five:  The gift of humor

If you’ve been around me at all over the last 4 months, you’ve probably heard me ramble about the book, Improv Wisdom, by Patricia Ryan Madson. Never was I in a better mood than the days I was reading it and the few weeks that followed. Improv isn’t just about stand-up comedy and Second City sketches. Improv is a way of life. It’s a way to see the forest for the trees. To smell ALL the roses. And to say, thanks, you intoxicating sexy roses! Thanks you crazy cool trees! This year I’m giving my parents this gift of humor below, because their senses of humor and mine aren’t unrelated. And one day, I really want to see a squirrel eat out of that horse’s head.

Everyone could use a chuckle. Everyfuckinone.

......

It took a while, but I’ve landed a new tip to unload this year. This tip is useful when you're buying for someone you haven't known for very long, or just don't know very well. In cases like these I may peruse the online gift shops of higher end places and see what they consider gifts (Liberty, Provisions, Williams Sonoma, West Elm, any museum store, any boutique with online store, anywhere they might desire to shop, really). Look above your ideal price point too, because oftentimes you can find similar items at local stores (Paper Source, Home Goods, Etsy) for a little cheaper.

What caught my eye this year (and every year since I was like 6) is blank stationary. I love me some beautiful stationary. I like to touch it and hold it and look at it. I cherish this stuff. I imagine kids of many ages appreciate new stationary when it’s truly the good stuff. But it can't be nearly great. It can't be kinda nice. It has to be noticeably well made. It should be inspiring in its perfection and beauty. Such as: 

All from Liberty

Speaking of people of all ages, my nieces and nephews between 3-6 are each being gifted a mask this year, custom designed with their favorite colors:

I’m a little weary of the commercial superhero costumes. It’s time I encourage them to create their own super-identities. These masks look awesome.

Now let’s talk about the menz. With few exceptions my guides have been generous with unisex ideas. But here’s an idea geared toward the manly. I found this amazing silk pocket square while surfing the gifts from Liberty. My fella appreciates looking snazzy once in a while, so this pocket square (complete with dragons) might speak to him. I know he also appreciates well-made, non-basic socks. How unfair that flair is so often relegated to just women’s accessories! His flair doesn’t come in pink or purple argyle or paisley (unless it’s truly special). Give him magical worlds and dark, mysterious creatures. I think he’d be a little extra happy every day he so-jazzed-it-up. And isn’t that the ultimate point of a gift? To bring happiness?

If your man isn’t adequately gifted with sports paraphernalia, maybe this idea will do the trick.

And now for two final ideas to round out two other gifting scenarios. Scenario 1, your parents or in-laws don’t need anything and a lot of you are struggling to patch together items to please. In this scenario your parent or in-laws are hopefully saying, we don’t need anything, save your money, and you’re hoping that’s true. If so, you buy them the Vya, or Improv Wisdom, or beautiful stationary. But if they don’t pester you to save money, spend that money by going in on a Vitamix. I have one of these. I love it. It’s nice to have something so reliable, and so conducive to healthy living (and frozen cocktails). Although expensive, it will never be regretted.

QVC, Whole Foods, and Costco tend to have Vitamix package deals. The books do help the new owner get the most out of it.

Scenario 2 – You're buying for someone or some couple that likes to wind down by sitting on the couch and watching good TV. Orphan Black. Many of us don’t get BBC America and haven’t seen Orphan Black. Many of us confuse it with that other popular show with an “O” and a “Black”. I Netflixed this and it was marathon-inducing, brain-twisting, bad ass fun that the recipient will want to watch at least two times. I know I do. It’s not crazy complicated (we all know those people who hate shows that they don’t immediately understand), but it is complex. It’s never dull or predictable. Best of all, it stars the best young actress who kills it scene after scene. Give this gift to people who like to zone out on the couch in front of riveting TV or computer games at the end of a long day, or in the middle of the afternoon any old day of the week.

Be my friend,Tatiana. Prices reflect used to new blu-rays on Amazon.

And there you have it, a reflection on past gift giving philosophies and a few new ideas to keep things fresh. May your gifts share much happiness and love with your lucky recipients. And if not, there’s usually next year.