Book bothered

Sometimes I read a book that makes me yearn for a book club.

I need to talk about Educated, by Tara Westover. I bought this for my mom last Christmas based on the rave reviews everywhere. My mom isn’t a gung-ho reader but I thought the semi-familiar subject matter (Difficult father? Check. Escape from a confining small town? Check.) and easy writing style might spark some interest. She read it, and then begged me to read it, as all good books should provoke one to beg. And now I beg you – have you read it? Can we talk? If so, please continue. If not, I warn you of spoilers and triggers galore ahead.

Books recently read and a couple on deck

We need to do something about Shawn. It sits horribly wrong with me that I, we, millions of us, have born witness to a man’s unchecked abuse. RIGHT NOW he is hurting his wife, or a niece. He is humiliating her, breaking her bones, scarring her psyche, making her fear for her life or for her next walk up the driveway. To think what his kids are witnessing. 

What what what can we do? We tell ourselves we can do nothing. We have no evidence that holds up. Heck, even the author, one of Shawn’s victims, crumbles with uncertainty. (Is she a survivor now? Has that term supplanted victim for her? It seems too soon to tell, education and all.)

How will we feel when he kills a woman? I’ll tell you. We’ll feel like we should have done something.

Imagine if this was sexual abuse instead of physical. We’d feel a bit more compelled to do something, no? But here comes the same excuse – we have no evidence!  However, like rape, domestic violence is a crime, even in Idaho. Oh the pain of knowing this is happening today, not just among the Westovers of Idaho but to so many others.

Maybe it’s epigenetic trauma that makes this material haunt me so closely. Maybe it’s the way it was conveyed. Whatever it is, I applaud Tara for getting it out there. I also want to shout at her so many times, SAY SOMETHING! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF! STAND UP FOR HER! But this memoir teaches us to check our know-it-all privilege. It helps us to understand brainwashing, which is a challenging task for someone whose father gave her a “Question Authority” bumper sticker when she was eleven. Ultimately, I will recommend this book to others but with trigger warnings (which I somehow did not receive). 

Tara, I’ll stand by your side if you want to take down Shawn somehow. I’ll be your backup. I’ll be your witness. Will he kill me? Not if I leave Idaho fast enough. I don’t think he has it in him to leave his zone of unchallenged terror. Cowards rarely do.