Did you notice that it's November and December is barreling towards us? If gifts have got you stumped, maybe I can help. Let's wrap your mind around a gift giving philosophy that may simplify your life - the philosophy of theme gifts. Now relax and enjoy...
Theme One: Hell no, I will NOT embrace winter. Summer and sunlight, I beg you, come back!
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| This robe (and this one and this one) and Mira and Dita and Heidi finger flair |
Fuck those gray winter days in the face by donning a sunny warm glamorous robe (all hail that confident yellow) and some fun bright nail polish (that you hope is being applied over a good base coat, which is a great addition to this gift). Worthy robes are hard to find - you might have better luck in person at stores. If the fab robe doesn't work out, this isn't a terrible substitute.
Theme One, Part Two: Let's get beautiful
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| head bliss, face bliss, body bliss |
You know those cold winter Saturdays or Sundays when it's just too cold to leave the house? Stay home and play with these lovely novelties. Who doesn't love at least the idea of a mini spa day, no wallet required. (Did it just occur to anyone else that it sounds like I'm writing for a women's magazine?) Add value to this gift by adding good warm knee socks.
Theme Two: Stop bitchin about it
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| Subscription, to kitchen porn (online subscription equally desirable), AB book, apron to end all aprons |
This is a unisex gift idea for anyone bitching about kitchen deficiencies. An almost identical gift could be made for a number of hobbies/complaints/whatsits. Add value to this gift by buying an item from that Alton Brown book. I really wonder what he recommends for digital meat thermometers. And this apron down there --- stop the electrons. Let's pause and covet. (I'll take one in Meadow and one in Ginger.)
Theme Three: These A) yuppies don't need anything, or B) people sure love to walk, or C) people are nerds.
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| Doses of heaven in gift boxes: Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago Botanic Garden |
Memberships! Only an asshole wouldn't love a year-long membership to somewhere local and awesome. (OK, this particular theme may not be good for people-phobes, germ-phobes, and knee-pain sufferers.)
Theme Four: I actually have been listening
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| My baby |
You can shut up now. Here's the thing you felt was too expensive to throw your money at, but as my major gift to you, the cost makes sense, somehow. I may not love this but you sound like you really want it, so I'm totally covered if this is a bust. But in this case - these are the dopest sneakers and the dopest shall be had by thee, my dopest.
And thus concludes my 2013 gift-giving philosophy.
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